The Man Who Has Everything
by Grandiose Me
Summary: Short bit for Megamind's birthday.  Roxanne wants to get him something, but it's not easy to shop for an alien super-genius.


**Author's Note:** Just a short little fic I've been sitting on for the blue man's birthday! (Over at the Livejournal comm there was a discussion thread which determined that the likeliest date was Dec.17, or eight days before Christmas, for those who do not know). In honor of it being the 17th now, here's some fluff.

* * *

Why, of all the months he could have been born in, had Megamind been born in _December?_

Roxanne sighed as she pushed her way past the throngs of shoppers crowding the mall, spilling out of boutiques and departments stores, plastic bags banging around their knees and heavy winter coats brushing her shoulders as the sound system piped _Silver Bells_ through the ceiling. Her frustration wasn't really with the crowd, though. She was more or less used to crowds by now, whether they were packed tightly in front of city hall or pushing their way through shopping centers. Mostly, she was frustrated with herself, because in addition to having been born during the busiest gift-giving month of the year, her boyfriend was also _impossible_ to shop for.

She had spent hours that morning scouring online stores for ideas, only to come up short. In a fit of desperation she'd taken to the mall, hoping that something might catch her eye and offer up a much-needed epiphany. A fancy dinner had been her first idea, but restaurants seemed to bother Megamind a little bit when he wasn't in disguise, and she didn't want him to spend his birthday wearing someone else's face. Besides which, Minion planned to bake a cake, and had not-so-subtly implied that birthday dinners were his jurisdiction and if they both abandoned him and went on a date rather than staying in and eating all of the delicious, delicious dishes he had planned, then they were _monsters_ and he would never forgive them. Roxanne had hastened to reassure him that she had no intention of hogging their resident blue genius for the entire day. She called dibs on after dinner, though.

It was a testament to the oddness of her life that she had been expecting pretty much that whole conversation.

So dinner was out. Even if it wasn't, Roxanne really wanted to buy him a _gift_. Something tangible, that she could wrap in paper and put a bow on top of, and physically hand to him. She wasn't sure why she was so set on the idea, but it seemed important. Clothes were another non-option, since Minion tailored things to more exacting and quality standards than anything she could buy, and the stuff that Megamind _did_ purchase was all bizarre and custom and usually from overseas (the baby seal leather boots had been replaced with cruelty-free faux-leather vegan "footgear") and thus way out of her league. Gadgets and gizmos were also out of the question, for obvious reasons. There was nothing she could buy him that he couldn't just make himself, a million times better. Books were her standard go-to for gifts when she'd run out of other ideas, but he read so much and so quickly that she wasn't sure what he had and what he didn't, or what he even actually _liked_ besides. He soaked up information like a sponge.

Then, of course, he digested through the peculiar filter of his complicated, prison-raised mind, and regurgitated it out into some of the strangest conclusions and mispronunciations she'd ever seen. But that was beside the point. Books were out, too, then. Her mother had always made a habit of buying her father a new wallet for his birthday, when he didn't need anything else, and she spent about twenty minutes staring at the nice wallets in the department store. She didn't think he had one. But they just seemed so… not Megamind. With a sigh of frustration, she'd moved on, looking at novelty gifts and Christmas displays, the odd menorah peppered amongst the decorations. She gave serious consideration to the create-a-bear workshop, and the concept of just making a blue bear in a black cape and calling it a day. He'd definitely find that amusing, if nothing else. But she didn't really want to give him a joke. Not for the first birthday of his that they were celebrating together.

Her trek through the mall took her past a bath and body store, which she gave only a moment's consideration, and a jeweler, which made her stop again, but the only things they had for men were rings and watches. He already had the world's best watch, and he wore gloves so often that rings probably didn't suit him. Though she did take a minute to imagine giving him a fancy diamond necklace, the scene playing out like a bizarre reversed-gender Kay's commercial. She was still internally laughing at herself as she went by the entrance of a children's clothing shop. A couple of women with a stroller were examining the front display, chatting with one another as the stroller's tiny occupant snoozed.

"-too little to really care much right now, but when she's older, she'll probably appreciate it," one of them was saying.

"I don't know if I buy into that astrology stuff," the other replied.

Roxanne didn't really intend to listen in, but the milling crowds forced her to pass close by, and both women had those clear, rich sort of voice that just drew the ear.

"It's not about that," the other insisted. "It was the night she was born! I think it's nice for her to know what the sky looked like when that happened, what the universe was doing-"

Her steps took her past the two women, but Roxanne's mind made a sudden skip, step, and a jump, and quite unexpectedly, she knew _exactly_ what she was going to do. Changing her trajectory, she made her towards the nearest exit. Purpose gave her speed. She would have to make a few calls, look into some things… but it wouldn't be as hard as might be, she was sure, not with the way Metroman fever had swept through the city for decades on end. They'd come from the same solar system, right? That was what Megamind said, anyway.

Roxanne found herself crossing her fingers all the same.

* * *

The gift was in its box, and the box was wrapped in dark blue paper with sparkly snowflakes etched onto it. It had been hard for her to find anything in a hurry that wasn't covered in reindeer or mistletoe. Roxanne kept it tucked under one arm as she made her way into the lair, careful not to crinkle the silver ribbon she'd tied around it. Wrapping wasn't a talent of hers. She'd used too much tape and the corners were a little wrinkled, but she'd wanted to put it together herself, rather than going to one of the many wrapping kiosks peppered all over the place. One of the brain bots met her at the door, whirring curiously, offering to take her coat. Roxanne handed it over with just a hint of reluctance. So far nothing bad had happened to any of her jackets, but everything about the bots was sharp and pointy. It was only a matter of time before an accident happened, she figured.

Megamind and Minion were in the lab. If it weren't for the streamers and balloons that Minion had apparently seen fit to put absolutely _everywhere_, Roxanne never would have known that anything unusual was going on. Megamind had a hot mug of something steamy in one hand, and was leaned halfway across the desk, scribbling a note onto one of the blueprints he'd set out. He had a spare pencil between his teeth, and was talking around it to Minion, who looked to be doing calculations of some sort on the computer. Roxanne pushed past several hanging cards, careful not to upset them, and, thinking quickly, hid her parcel behind her back. It was a little big, but the sweater she was wearing helped a bit. Then she leaned against the doorframe.

She meant to clear her throat, to draw their attention, never really followed through on that thought. For the moment it was rather nice to just stand and watch. Whatever idea he must have had had swallowed Megamind up, so that he was all over the place, grabbing things and scribbling them down, barking questions at Minion, who took it all in stride. After a minute or two the fishy sidekick noticed her, but he just rolled his eyes and grinned, and kept on working. Once or twice Megamind dashed up to the ladder beside the desk and pinned a few more cards to the ceiling, or tacked something up against the wall, but he was so absorbed that he didn't notice her. The minutes ticked by. Roxanne resettled herself a few times, oddly content as she tried to piece together what he was thinking and working on. The cards hanging above her reminded her of the decorations she'd passed all day and yesterday, only instead of snowflakes, they were photos and sketches of the city. And… birds? And a couple of photographs of her and him that he'd tacked up just across from his desk, though she suspected those were more for him and less for his ideas.

He was dangling upside-down from the ladder, looking at a few of the cards he'd hung, when he finally noticed her. Then she almost regretted keeping silent, because he let out a squawk of surprise and very nearly fell off.

"Roxanne!" he exclaimed as he caught himself, hanging awkwardly by a knee and an elbow. "How long have you been standing there for?"

Before she could answer him, there were some interesting contortions on his part as he attempted to right himself. She waited until he was through before darting a glance at the clock, and shrugging. "Oh, not long."

"Almost an hour," Minion supplied.

Megamind gave her a flustered look, straightening a wrinkle from his shirt, some color rising into his cheeks. "You should have said something."

Roxanne just shrugged and smiled a little blissfully at him. "I was enjoying the view," she informed him. As she'd hoped, it made him color even more, and he cleared his throat and straightened up a bit. Minion coughed delicately. She returned the reproachful look he gave her with an unabashed grin. It made him roll his eyes again.

The moment ended when Megamind clapped his hands together and loudly asked who wanted cake. That got Minion moving, and a few minutes later Roxanne had surreptitiously tucked her present underneath her chair as one of the tables was cleared, and they all tucked in to the birthday feast. The cake was blue, and had a picture of Megamind's head frosted onto it. Roxanne got one of his eyes. There was also a blue colored pudding with marshmallows in it, a bowl of dried dates, blueberry ice-cream, fried rice, shortbread cookies, blackberry cheesecake, and cheese pizza. It was very, very odd. She managed to keep her thoughts to herself, and smile encouragingly as she watched her boyfriend pile ice-cream onto his pizza.

Was it weird that she found that more cute than disgusting? Probably. She was a little bit surprised. Most of the time he ate like a more-or-less normal person. Maybe it was a birthday thing. Or maybe he'd just never felt comfortable enough around her to be a little weird about it before. Regardless, she complimented Minion on his cooking, and they all shared accounts of the days they'd had, and then Minion and Megamind regaled her with stories of past birthdays. Roxanne was a little surprised to realize that she'd been a regular guest for Megamind's birthday over the course of the past several years. She'd just never realized that those kidnappings were any different from the others. By the time they'd finished, Megamind was smiling and relaxed, and Roxanne felt the warm fuzzy glow that seemed par for the course with winter celebrations. Minion shared a glance with her, then nodded and, to her gratitude, left to 'clean up'. Which she was sure he was actually doing, but his dialogue was so staged about that Megamind actually gave her a curious glance.

When they were alone, Roxanne shrugged. "He was afraid I'd steal you all day. I wanted to make sure I got you alone for at least _some_ of it," she explained.

"…Oh," he said. He looked her up and down, drumming his fingers a bit against the edge of the table. "Oh. _Oh_." His cheeks colored again.

Roxanne laughed. "No! Well, I mean, _yes_, there's _that_, but first…" Leaning down, she reached underneath her chair. All of a sudden she found herself incredibly nervous. What if he didn't like it? The paper crinkled a little bit under her thumb as she lifted it up. Too late to change it now. She pulled the gift into her hands, and glanced at him again, unconsciously biting her lip. Megamind was staring wide-eyed at the present. He'd gone still in his seat.

"You…" he trailed off.

Roxanne shrugged. "Happy birthday," she said, forcing her nerves aside, and extending the parcel towards him.

For a full beat Megamind just stared at her. Then he grinned, wide and real, his smile reaching up all the way to his eyes and stealing her breath for a few seconds. _Oh,_ she realized, suddenly understanding her reason for wanting so badly to do everything the way she had. _That's why_. He took the present from her. There was an eager, barely suppressed excitement to him then, but he was uncommonly careful as he unwrapped it, slipping the ribbon off and peeling the tape from the corners. When he got to the box he grinned at her again, his giddiness infectious, and then opened it. His expression faltered briefly into puzzlement.

Roxanne's stomach lurched nervously.

"It's… a picture? Of the sky?" he asked, pulling the frame out of the box, where she'd cushioned it in tissue paper. A simple black and glass frame held a photograph of the sky just beyond the tip of a mountain range, the stars in clear relief against the darkness. She swallowed and shrugged again, ducking her head a bit. Megamind quickly backpedaled. "I mean, no, I love it! It's the best picture of a night sky I've ever _seen_. Look at it, it's all… um… sky-ish. This is going _right_ up on the wall. Somewhere."

Roxanne bit back a laugh, equal parts humor and nerves, and explained.

"It was taken in Washington on the night you were born. I wanted to get one from Metro City, or maybe some photos of space, but I couldn't find any that matched the date and had the right view and were clear enough. You…" she cleared her throat a little, and leaned forward, pointing to one particular speck amidst all of the bright dots. "You can see your star. I mean, the star that was your planet's sun. Before everything happened. It's still there, see?" Of course, it had still been there for a long while after it had exploded, as well, light-speed being what it was, but she had wanted to get a picture of the right day. But she wondered if it had been the wrong idea. Maybe it was too depressing. Maybe she shouldn't have reminded him of it.

Megamind's mouth rounded into a soft 'o' of surprise. Roxanne searched his face as he looked back at the picture, and swallowed, hard. He shifted one of his hands from the frame. Slowly, almost reverently, he rested the tips of his fingers against the dot she'd indicated.

"Really?" he asked, his voice uncommonly quiet. "That's my…?"

It absolutely was. She'd cross-checked it all with the people from the new observatory and everything.

"Yeah," she confirmed.

For a few seconds it felt like everything was hanging on a thread, dangling above them, like all of the project notes overhead. The lines of his face softened. He stared, transfixed, for several seconds. Then the corners of his mouth slowly turned upwards. All of Roxanne's concerns quieted down. She scooted her chair over so that it was closer beside his, looking at the picture again over his shoulder. Megamind seemed content to stare. After a second she leaned against him, surprisingly content to stare, too. He shifted his hand, so that instead of resting on the star it was clasped against hers. His fingers squeezed her palm lightly.

"Thank you," he said.

"Happy birthday," she replied.


End file.
